This will be short and sweet because it is both simple and urgent. We have 140 days, give or take, to put matters right, or matters may never be right again.
We all know about the Founding Fathers, those great men from centuries gone by who created the wonderful Constitutional Republic that has become a superpower, a global force for good, the creator of a protracted era of global peace (the “Pax Americana”), and, without question, the greatest, most-benevolent, and generous nation the world has ever known.
The Founding Fathers were legitimately concerned about the prospect of “Unfounded Fathers” (though they didn’t call them that), who, in spite of all of the checks and balances built into our form of government by the Founding Fathers, would become so corrupt as to cause our democratic fabric to come unwoven. While the Founding Fathers were concerned, they had to believe that it was unlikely that their carefully crafted checks and balances would be rent asunder, because that result could only occur if the people voted into office representatives of incredible greed, ego, self-interest, narrow-mindedness, stupidity, and lack of regard for the will of the voters and the general well-being of the country.
Well friends, the day of reckoning, the day the Founding Fathers hoped would never come, is upon us. The “Unfounded Fathers” are among us, suffused in Beltway ignorance and arrogance, egomania and self-centeredness, greed and narrow-mindedness, incredible hubris, and disregard for the country and its citizens.
And we are not here to castigate Congressional Democrats, or even the Democrat-in-Chief in the White House–those folks have always exhibited the character and other failings set forth above. No, concerned citizens and conservatives, the “Unfounded Fathers” are here and bent on destruction generally of the nation’s political balance of power and destruction specifically of the Republican Party. It is with much angst and considerable sadness that we have been set upon by the enemy within–current members of the Republican Establishment. The very folks who are supposed to act as a check and balance against the callow, mindless policies of the unenlightened and maniacal Democrats, have thrown in the towel, have stabbed their constituents in the back, have gone over to the dark side, and are in the process of throwing this great country under the bus.
Shame on you Paul Ryan, shame on you Ben Sasse, shame on you Mitch McConnell, shame on you John McCain, shame on you Mitt Romney, shame on you George W. Bush. Shame on all of you phony Republicans who have decided that your “consciences,” your “elitist attitudes,” your “unbounded arrogance,” your alleged political “experience,” your ostensible political “judgment,” your previously lacking “canny insight,” your “distain for the judgment of your constituents,” and your “unbounded egos” entitle you to dismiss the will of the voters who have selected Donald Trump to be the Republican nominee for President.
We hate to rain on the GOP Establishment’s “pity parade,” but Unfounded Fathers, when it comes to honesty, candor, sincerity, loyalty, common sense, love of country, and desire to make America a better and safer place to live, you aren’t worthy of carrying the Donald’s gym bag.
Most startling is the fact that the Unfounded Fathers are not only incredibly ignorant, you are also incredibly wrong. It takes an arrogance of Obamaian proportions to tell your constituents that they are misguided idiots. More importantly, the Unfounded Fathers are apparently under the erroneous belief that they can ignore, demean, and oppose Donald Trump as the Party’s nominee while still saving their yellow, political skins by concentrating time, effort, and money in an attempt to keep “down-stream” Republican candidates from being “swept away” by a Hillary Clinton landslide. The Unfounded Fathers seem to have reached the illogical conclusion that they can bash the head of the GOP ticket and yet, somehow, help the GOP under-carders to carry the day. Unfortunately, these political geniuses have it exactly backwards.
If (thanks in large part to the unfounded opposition of the Unfounded Fathers) it appears as election day approaches that Trump has no chance of winning, millions and millions and millions of Trump supporters will stay home. Why should they make the effort to vote for a candidate that the Unfounded Fathers have beaten into the ground? And if the Unfounded Fathers think that the worst Republican turnout in history in a Presidential campaign is going to be good for their “down ballot” buddies, then they are even more foolish than we give them credit for. Perhaps these flighty Unfounded Fathers, who have shown little interest in supporting their constituents by challenging a political novice and lightweight like Obama, believe that, even though they have done everything in their power to drive away Trump supporters, those same voters will flock to the polls for the sole purpose of perking up the candidacies of beleaguered Republican Senatorial or Congressional candidates. Do they really expect the voters, whose candidate they have just willfully trampled, will come to the rescue of their favorite candidates?
Perhaps the Unfounded Fathers simply believe that the voters will have the common sense to want to preserve Republican majorities in the House and the Senate. But why should the voters respond to that self-interested appeal by the Unfounded Fathers? After all, the Republicans have had majorities in both the House and the Senate for 2 years, and have accomplished zero, zip, nada. Trump supporters are counting on Trump to shake up D.C., including the Republican majorities–to put an end to gridlock, ever-expanding bureaucracy and regulatory intrusion, petty bickering, and economic calamity. In other words: to mix things up a bit in the nation’s capitol. But, without Trump, there is no mix, no shake up, no change, and very little to hope for. Under such circumstances, do the Unfounded Fathers really think that, without Trump, the voters really give a fig whether the GOP retains its majority in either chamber?
Let us be perfectly blunt about this. The perilous path that you Unfounded Fathers are pursuing is guaranteed only to ensure 8 years of a Hillary Presidency, the loss of conservative influence on the Supreme Court for decades, the probable bankruptcy of the country, economic stagnation or recession for years to come, the Middle East in increasing flames and disorder, China, Iran, North Korea, and Russia unchecked on the world stage, further reduction in both size and readiness of the military, further fomentation of divisiveness on the basis of race, gender, age, religion, and socio-economic status, and vastly more attacks by Muslim extremists, both inside and outside of the United States. But not to worry, the Unfounded Fathers will still have reserved deck chairs on the USS Titanic.
But before the country goes under, or before anyone who can afford to leave the country does so, we will make sure that there is a huge monument erected to the Unfounded Fathers, prominently featuring all of their names and memorializing their destruction of the single greatest country in all of human kind–and for no reason other than the Unfounded Fathers’ petulance over the Republican primary voters having had the temerity (imagine the gall) to pick a Presidential nominee that the Unfounded Fathers would not have personally selected. Election Day in 2016 will become the new day that “will live in infamy,” and the names of the Unfounded Fathers will forever be etched in the history books as the shortsighted individuals who singlehandedly destroyed the greatest and most successful political experiment of all time. And don’t forget that, after the destruction of the country, the loss of both the House and the Senate, and the ultimate consolidation of power to the Democrat Party, the lingering justification by the Unfounded Fathers will be an astonishing–“Well, at least our Presidential candidate lost.” Brilliant. Great political minds will be staggered for generations to come.